Taramati
Name: Taramati
Age: mid-50s
Occupation: self-employed in retail
Lives: East Midlands
How would you describe your sexuality?
I am in my mid-50s, heterosexual and I am a switch - meaning I have both Dominant and submissive inclinations. I have been happily married for 30 years and my sexual relationship with my husband was mainly vanilla for much of that time, but I believe I was always orientated towards BDSM.
All my life I have had powerful fantasies of Dominance and submission but I did not realise that such feelings could be expressed and shared until I came into contact with the BDSM community. Since then I have shared my thoughts and desires with my husband and we have incorporated them into our relationship. Although I have some Dominant fantasies, I found that I enjoy submitting to him and he gets pleasure from the Dominant role. Exploring the D/s relationship has enriched our sex life and brought us even closer together.
What role has 'violent pornography' played in your life?
It made me realise I was not alone! After years of supposing that I was the only person who entertained such fantasies, seeing them acted out (and knowing that I had met some of the potential audience, in the BDSM community, and found them sane, tolerant and friendly) was very reassuring. Of course, it also does what it is intended to do - if you are BDSM-orientated, then erotic imagery with a BDSM theme is very arousing. I feel no guilt about enjoying it.
What do you think of the UK government's proposal to ban 'violent pornography'?
I consider myself to be a feminist, and have done so since the 1960s. I am also the mother of 2 adult daughters and 3 grandchildren. I would not support any activity that involved those who cannot or do not consent - children, people with learning difficulties, trafficked women, etc. However, I have seen no evidence that so-called 'violent pornography' involves anyone from such groups. I do not think it makes any sense for film-makers to illegally coerce women into non-consensual acts when it is clear that there are plenty of actresses who are willing to participate for money, or because of their own sexual orientation, or both. Nor do I believe that there is a causal link between pornography of any sort and sex crimes, any more than I believe that watching Pulp Fiction is likely to make you want to go and blow someone's head off with a gun.
I believe that the demand for this legislation originates from a reactionary sector of the UK community who would like to undermine the sexual freedoms which have been achieved during the past 40 years and, in this sense, I think that BDSM people are on the front line just as the gay and lesbian community were when struggling for legal and social acceptance.
I am also aware that the proposed ban is supported by some feminists, who argue that BDSM promotes the subjugation of women and encourages violence against them. Whilst I understand this viewppoint, I believe it is mistaken. The essence of the BDSM relationship is consent. D/s sexuality involves a high degree of discussion and negotiation, which might be beneficial in many vanilla relationships. Not all women are submissive, and not all men are Dominant - quite the reverse! - and much 'violent pornography' reflects this. Above all, I believe that women are competent, independent people who are capable of making our own decisions and should be allowed the freedom to express our sexuality as we choose. We are consenting adults - we do not need the Government treat us like children or to intervene in our sexual lives.
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Shooting the Messenger
The internet is a convenient scapegoat for society's ills.
The UK government is to legislate how best to imprison potentially many people for viewing content on the internet.
How should governments regulate the details of our personal lives and control individual expression ?
Preserve Individual Freedoms
Backlash campaigns to ensure the right remedies are applied to the right problems.
Whilst doing so we preserve hard won individual rights and liberties.
See no evil.
The government doesn't want you to view certain images. And will send you to prison if you possess them. Even in the privacy of your own home.