K

Name: K
Age: 32
Occupation: Professional, educated to MA level.
Lives: London

How would you describe your sexuality?

I am sexually submissive. Of course, I have only come to fully understand these words in the past three years. Ever since I was a child, I have understood what interested me and what turned me on, and I knew about the BDSM community, but I was unable to put the two together. When I finally did it was like a light bulb had been turned on. Or more like a floodlight, or even sunlight. I never knew I could reach this sort of fulfilment. Once I had figured it out, I could no more turn my back on it or ignore it than I could breathing.

It has always been part of who I am. I wasn't taught it, I wasn't 'led' into it and I wasn't introduced to it by anyone else. It has been something I have sought out on my own since I was a child. When I was 14 I found in a bookstore and bought 'The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty'. It was me who shared it with my friends.

What role has "violent pornography" played in your life?

My own activities have always been completely consensual, and I choose my 'violent' porn accordingly. One of my favorite umbrella organizations is Kink (http://www.kink.com/) who provide various fetish-based or 'violent' pornography sites. It is clear there that all activities are consensual, as is frequently shown in the 'after portion' where they interview the participants. There are various other sites that I frequent, and most of my pornography (I'm really not sure that I would call it 'violent') is online. I also enjoy reading blogs of people actively engaged in BDSM activities as this written pornography is as much or even more entertaining to me as anything visual.

As for what role it has played in my life, what role does pornography play in anyone's life? For those who enjoy viewing it or reading it, it excites and arouses. It touches a deep part of ourselves where we find pleasure, fulfilment and satisfaction. I don't think it matters what sort of pornography I look at, as I feel that it meets the same need for me that it meets for anyone else looking at it, or at airbrushed Playboy models, or large-breasted women, or overweight people. We all have different desires and fantasies. A fantasy life is healthy, like reading books, daydreaming, watching movies, etc. I have no issue saying that I enjoy looking at pornography on a regular basis - as much as I enjoy reading fiction books, knitting, or cooking. It contributes to part of who I am as a person - the sexual part. No more, and no less.

What do you think of the UK government's proposal to ban "violent pornography"? Can you suggest any better means of improving attitudes towards women?

I am horrified by the naivety in the UK government's proposal. By using too broad a description, the proposal creates the likelihood that many perfectly reasonable and consensual acts and activities will become criminal. I have heard supporters argue that "of course there will be discretion", but what does that mean? And whose discretion is that being left to? A law that is purposefully written as unclear and relies on 'future discretion' shows a lack of clarity in its intent. This is not the foundation for law. Law should be both purposeful and clear and to this end, I oppose the proposal, not simply because it would make my own activities and interests 'criminal'.

A woman's right in life is to choose her own course. I suppose participants in what would under the proposal be considered 'violent pornography' could take up the cry of the abortion debate - "My body, my choice!" I never understand why women are lumped together with children and animals as if they are in need of the same level of protection. THIS is the attitude that must be adjusted.

Women are not lesser beings, and to improve social attitude towards them, perhaps we should think long and hard about some of these laws created to specifically 'protect' them. By singling out 'women' as the fairer sex, we perpetuate the myth that this is the case. The best way to improve attitudes towards women is to stop patronizing them!

In any case, the proposal will not protect more women. No studies have proven the link between pornography and violence just as there is no link between homosexuality and paedophilia. When looking at statistics for 'violent pornography', there is a disproportionate interest in female superior/male inferior pornography as opposed to the alternative. But for those who haven't done their research or haven't looked into it, they only see what they want to see. How can this sort of sloppy research and discretion be the basis for law? How does being careless and anything less than thorough protect women? Clearly, it doesn't, and it won't.

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