Emma
Masochism as Christian Spirituality
Emma, a 22-year-old unemployed artist, talks about the part masochism plays in her Christian spirituality.
My Sexuality
I am heterosexual and use bondage and sadomasochism as part of my sex life. I am in a long-term committed relationship where I am mostly submissive but occasionally
dominant - it really depends what mood I am in.
My first experience of sexual contact with a man was extremely negative. This made me very nervous of sex and very unwilling to allow my relationships with men to become physical.
While I was at art college I came across written and photographic material on BDSM. Many of the images I encountered would be described as 'violent', and it might have been expected that someone like me would not like to look at these images, as I have experienced sexual violence first hand.
However, to me these images were not in any sense violent. BDSM imagery is usually posed and lit in a very staged kind of way, and to me that suggests control rather than violence - the ability to be in 'control' of my sexual experiences that BDSM sexuality allows me.
This is hard to explain, but when I am tied up I always feel in control. I can position myself in a way that I feel safe and comfortable, and am impenetrable, before the ropes go on, or I can choose to be tied in a way that allows my partner full access to me. This is always my choice. With a sexual expression as ritualised as BDSM, it does not feel like either of us could accidentally do anything the other person didn't want. It is all planned, pre-ordained, and in that sense it feels safe.
'Violent Pornography'
I have spoken a lot about the non-violent nature of BDSM, but not so much about the images that I might no longer be allowed to look at if the government's legislation is passed. Without the images I would not have become involved in BDSM, and I feel I would have missed out. BDSM images are consensual and are mostly posed by people who are within the scene, unlike commercial pornography, which is often posed by women who are driven into it by economic necessity. BDSM erotica is a celebration of the sexuality of the models.
It is not just BDSM erotica that would be hurt by this law but also some fantastic works by performance artists who use cutting as part of their performances. This includes piercing performers and other very talented individuals whose work is an important contribution to the creative scene. Classical imagery is also full of violence - just look at some of the Renaissance rape scenes, or sexy female saints being martyred. Does the government plan to stop us looking at art?
And who exactly will judge what is art and what is 'violent sexual imagery'? Surely it would be better to allow the imagery but to keep a close eye on things like people trafficking, to make sure that all models are willing participants. I feel that as long as the people who are being photographed are willing, the image is not wrong.
Masochism and Spirituality
You might be wondering where my Christianity fits with all of this. It has taken me years to reconcile looking at these images with worshiping God.
However, BDSM used to be a massive part of the church. Monks used to beat themselves with spiky rods. Images of dying saints being tortured horribly and writings describing martyrdoms have induced spiritual ecstasy and feelings of devotion for years.
I feel that my interest in 'violent sexual imagery' is related to learning to feel ecstasy at the pain of the saintly. Masochism is a huge part of my spirituality.
I believe that sex is a spiritual experience as well as an emotional and physical one, if done for the right reasons. Therefore bringing my masochism into my sexuality is simply a way of treating my sex life as a spiritual experience.
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Shooting the Messenger
The internet is a convenient scapegoat for society's ills.
The UK government is to legislate how best to imprison potentially many people for viewing content on the internet.
How should governments regulate the details of our personal lives and control individual expression ?
Preserve Individual Freedoms
Backlash campaigns to ensure the right remedies are applied to the right problems.
Whilst doing so we preserve hard won individual rights and liberties.
See no evil.
The government doesn't want you to view certain images. And will send you to prison if you possess them. Even in the privacy of your own home.